The Invasion of Personal Space
by Secterscope
Summary: Collab Semi-Crack one-shot. Follow Bakura as he suffers through something just terrible, but funny to everyone else except maybe the Pharoah. That's right, we're talking about prom. Slight Darkshipping if you want to see it in that way. T for language.


**Hello! Secter here! This be a collab fanfic short that is kinda on crack, if I do say so myself. Regardless, I do hope you guys enjoy our complete and utter randomness provoked from boredom at 2:06am in the morning! It's never good to be bored with Fufu around, I swear, she scares me so much. xD **

**Hey! Fufu here! And for your information I was just sitting here inoccently when she started this!...Though maybe I shouldn't have let her watch 'Vampires Suck' the other day...Or mention Bakura and Yami while we where watching it...O.k FINE! I was the evil muse behind this! Happy? We do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, Twilight, or Ancient Egypt (damn). But I do own the kid and the mom and Secter owns the idea for the plot. Happy reading!**

**Secter: Eh, we don't own Harry Potter either, xD Or Vampires Suck for that matter. And yes, you own your cameos, you sneak you! Ah, well, yes. I did do most of the typing, but she was my personal typo-corrector! IT WAS AWESOME! :D **

**Well, without further aidou heres our hand grown crack! Smoke it well!**

**P.s. Fufu: Tell us if we missed a typo, Secter was forced to type this on notepad, which does not have word check. Sadface!**

**P.s. Secter: Oh yeah, this is in Bakura's point of view! Just saying for those who can't figure it out, lol!**

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**The Invasion of Personal Space.**

I never asked for this. Hell, I never even dreamed for this to happen. Fuck, I'd rather it had never happened at all. Yet here I am, and it happend. Shit. My reputation is forever on the rocks now. Bloody Pharoah. I supposse I should tell you what I'm talking about, huh? Well, It all started the day we came back. By came back, I mean that all of us Yami's mysteriously gained bodies and showed up at our old halves door steps. Yeah, we call them "Hikaris" now. It makes things more simple that way.

However, I didn't realize that while we were gone, Ryou had moved in with Yugi and his Grandpa. Why he did that, I never knew, but I guess he just got lonely or something, and Yugi never can say the word no. Regardless, this meant that the Pharoah and I showed up on the same door step. As anyone who knew us could imagine, neither of us took that very well. It was safe to say that when Yugi and Ryou opened the door to find us, it wasn't a pretty sight.

"What the bloody hell are you doing here!" I bellowed at the one person I hated the most.

"I could ask you the same question! Why are you here at my Aibou's house!" the Pharoah yelled back.

"Fuck if I know!" I growled, teeth barred. I was tempted to beat him to a pulp right there, and this slit hit throat with a knife...as soon as I could find one. Having just came back, we were in the same clothes we were in when we left this world. Meaning that I was in my old red cloak and the Pharoah in his...well, Pharoah clothes. We looked a sight. "What are you doing back here anyway, huh? Didn't you die saving the world or something!"

"Didn't I send you into the eternal shadows with your dark lord!"

"...I never worked for Voldemort." I stated.

"Who?"

"You know who!"

Unfortunetly, being in ancient egyptian garb tends to attract attention.

"Mommy!" a small bronze haired girl tugged on her mother's sleave. "The funny man in the dress doesn't know who Voldy is!"

"Allison what have I told you about pointing?" The mother chidded leading her down the street.

"It's not a dress its a kilt!" The Pharoah yelled as I let out a whooping laugh. Maybe the little heathens weren't so bad after all.

It was about this time that Yugi and Ryou opened the door. Strangly enough, they heard some of what we had been talking about. Yugi's first words to the Pharoah were, "I never let you read Harry Potter? We must fix that right NOW!" I'll never forget the way Yugi pushed him into the house so he could be learn'ed in the ways of the HP fandom. After watching this, I noticed Ryou giving me a look, almost as if he were proud of me. It was creepy.

That first night was a doozy. After Ryou accepted me back into his life (why he did, I still havn't a clue. But, I guess it was because he was still lonely. I dunno, he's clingy) , he explained to me how we lived in the gameshop-house now. I flipped my lid. I was in such a rage that I can't remember most of what I did, but when I snapped out off it, the house was a mess and a corner of the bathroom looked burnt. Of course, it was the Pharoah he knocked me back into my senses. He had punched me in the head, the bastard, and knocked me out. I woke up in Ryou's bedroom with an icepack on my head and a worried Hikari hovering over me.

After that, we managed to live somewhat peacefully, if you could call it that. The Pharoah and I still argued, but Ryou and Yugi seemed to understand me more than they had before. It was creepier than fish sticks. I mean, have you seen a fish! Where they bloody hell do you see a stick anywhere on a fish! They're just not natual!

Moving on, we had been living together for about a month when Yugi's Grandfather noticed something.

"Hey, you boys aren't that old, and in this day in age you can't go anywhere without an education." he informed the Pharoah and I, who were seated on the couch as he paced back and forth in front of us. "So, I have signed you up to start school with Yugi and Ryou! Isn't that great!" Needless to say, the Pharoah and I were in shock.

So that's how we found ourselves as highschoolers. Seniors, actually. How the old man pulled that off, I don't know, but I commend him for it. School wasn't that bad, either. I mean, sure, the food was questionable and there were those few teachers that were just asking for a sentance to the shadow realm, but otherwise...

Ahh, who am I kinding, it was living hell! No fighting, no stealing, no weapons, no cursing, no fun! It was like they thought we were all suppossed to be bloody angels or something! I only managed to survive through it because I found amusement in pranking; the one thing you could do and get away with at school. Ah, I still remember the look on that girl's face when she took a bite out of that cheeseburger I had drowned in hot sauce. It was classic.

The best thing about school is that it didn't seem to last long. The worst part of school was this thing called prom, which everyone else seemed to be excited about. I being from the past, I hadn't a bloody clue what the fuck a prom was, and was therefore pissed at every girl who stopped me in the hallway to ask me if they would like to dance with them.

"Dance! Are you mental? There's not even any music playing you stupid girl!"

Pfft, as if I 'danced' to begin with. A week before prom, Ryou explained to me what a prom was. Though I now knew what the girls had meant, I still didn't feel sorry in rejecting them.

"And it's going to be really wonderful! They say it's the one day you'll remember for the rest of your life, so you have to be careful there, but it's still marvelous." Ryou was gushing. "I can't wait, did you know I actually got asked?" he looked at me. "I can't believe it!"

"Nor can I. Who the bloody hell would want to go to a dance of all things? And why would anyone in their right minds want to go with you! You can't even dance!"

"Can too!" Ryou barked back at me. "In fact, I bet I can dance better than you!"

Oh, it was on. I couldn't have my Hikari thinking that he was better than me at anything, now could I? So the search was on to find a dance partener. Sadly, after all the girls I had rejected, no one would accept my invitation. They all said that they already had dates. I still didn't know what a date was, so I figured that this 'Dates' person was a real man whore. Must have been the Pharoah's secret identity.

So then the night of the prom came, and the theme, wouldn't you know it, was...can you guess? Ancient Egypt. Well, at least it wasn't Twilight. We were all to dress up in what we thought the Ancient Egyptians wore. Well, the Pharoah, may his soul be sent to hell, and I pretty much had that covered as we both had our vintage clothing. Yugi and Ryou, bless their pathetic souls, decieded to make their own outfits. Of course, they modeled their clothing after ours, so on the night of the prom, all four of us showed up and Yugi and Ryou looked like our miniatures.

Yugi and the Pharoah parted with us, and I was soon left alone as the girl Ryou was going with soon found him, and they ran off together.

So there I was, in a very over glorified gymnasium decked out like a fantasy version of Ancient Egypt with many couples dancing around and music blaring. What was I to do?

Make as much meyham as I could, of course. I spiked the punch, three times as the teachers kept replacing it. I tripped people, I stole people's personal belongings and set them in places they would never be able to find. I never really took anything because these terrible people never had anything worth stealing. Pity.

I did this for about two or three hours before Ryou caught me pouring vodka in the punch for the fourth time.

"You!" he called, his eyes hurt. "So you're the reason she's hurling in the bathroom!"

I took it that his date had drank copious amounts of my specialty punch. How thoughtful of her.

"She's going to have to go home now too! She can hardly walk, and she was crying about how she didn't know what was wrong with her!" he yelled at me.

I could tell he was mad. But, since when did I care? I just stood there, smirking at him. But that's when he said it.

"So, I guess you couldn't find anyone to dance with, huh? Is that why you're doing this? Mad that you can't try to out dance me?"

Oh, it was more than on. I growled and marched off onto the dance floor, and grabbed the closest person and demanded that they danced with me.

"What the hell!"

Of course, in my anger I hadn't paid attention to who it was I had grabbed, genderwise or anything. And, as my luck would have it, the person was the Pharoah. And, as if Ra were laughing in my face, it was a slow song playing.

Of course, neither I nor the Pharoah where dancing. We had engaged in a battle of trying to strangle each other without letting anyone else see. I would have won, too, had that bloody teacher not come by to demand that we had to be arms-length apart.

I never asked for this. Hell, I never even dreamed for this to happen. Fuck, I'd rather it had never happened at all. Yet here I am, and it happend. Shit. My reputation is forever on the rocks now. Bloody Pharoah.

We were forced to dance out the rest of the song, though we death glared each other the whole time. Regretibly, our staring was mistaken for a romantic daze, which caused other dancers to stop and look at us, some looking sick at the fact we were two males, and others trying to stifle nose bleeds.

By the end of the song, the majority clapped for us and some even whisteled. I swear, if I ever find them, I'll kill them slowly and enjoy every minuet of it. The Pharoah and I intantly let go of each other and looked away, both of us embarassed at what the crowd were thinking. It was just so wrong! SO WRONG I SAY!

What's worse, Yugi and Ryou where laughing at us. Oh, the indignaity of having a midget and a feminine boy laughing at you. It was insulting. Then, the wrost thing possible happened. I turned my head sharply, my mouth open to insult the Pharoah in some way. I shouldn't have done that though. I should have paid more attention to just how close the bastard was to me. As I turned, I swear I almost ate his face.

We lip locked. It was disgusting as all hell, yet we were both in such a disgusted shock that we couldn't pull away as fast as we would have liked.

In fact, it was the teacher who had to break us apart, we were so stunned. We got thrown out of prom, too, as they had found out that it was I who had spiked the punch and they mistook the Pharoah for my date.

We stood there outside the school, both of us gagging.

"What the hell!" Pharoah kept repeating through his gags.

It was the same question that kept replaying in my mind as well. It was just too much. I kept thinking about what Ryou had said. _'They say it's the one day you'll remember for the rest of your life, so you have to be careful there, but it's still marvelous.' _Marvelous my ass. Now people were going to always remember the Pharoah and I kissing! Fuck, I'll have to kill a lot of people now. This must never be remembered! EVER!

After calming down, the Pharoah and I yelled at each other the whole way home. Gramps said hi to us as we entered, but we didn't answer him. We continued to growl at each other until we were both out of breath.

"Fuck it. I was bored there anyway." I grunted, ploping down onto the couch in the living room. "The only reason I was there was to prove to Ryou that I could dance better than him. Hah, I did a bloody well job of that, eh?"

The Pharoah sighed as he browsed through a shelf of DVDs. "I can't believe you did that. Ugh!"

I laughed. "I can't believe you were that freaking close to me. What the hell were you doing that close to me anyway?"

He paused, picking up a movie and walking over to the DVD player. "I was going to ask you if we should make a run for it. I didn't much like everyone staring at us like that either, you know."

"Heh, well, they'll be talking now."

The Pharoah grunted as he set the movie up to play. "I hate you for that, you know, right?"

I laughed more. "Like I'd care if you hate me or not. I'll always hate your guts."

He pushed play, and I could tell now that the movie was the first Harry Potter. I glared at him. "Oh, finally got into the fandom, did you?"

The Pharaoh scowled as he sat down on the other side of the couch. "Yugi has been nagging at me forever to start watching the movies now that I'm done with the books, and I figured a small marathon of Harry Potter would be able to take my mind off recent events."

I couldn't argue with that. I got up, smirking. "I'll go make popcorn."

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**Secter: :D I'm so evil!**

**Fufu: She is, I would've just made 'Kura dance with Yugi to make the Pharoah steam. Oh, and I was the kid who said Yami/Atem was in a dress! XD**

**Secter: Yes, yes, Fufu loves her cameo and must announce it to the entire world! MWHAHAHA! Meanwhile, I didn't give myself a cameo. D: Oh well, maybe next time. Please review if you liked this crack!, or semi-crack, as some of it did make sense. We may just make another collab if a lot of you like it lol.**

**Fufu: And flames will just be used to fuel my pyromania and keep us nice and warm while it snows.**

**Secter: *stares at Fufu* Um, yeah. I never minded flames much. I always thought it was funny that someone would waste more time dissing a story they didn't like. I mean seriously, don't they have something better to do or- nevermind. I forgot, this is fanfiction. We have no lives. :/**

**Fufu: Yep, but one day we'll rule the world and I'll buy a lawyer who can get me the copywright to Ancient Egypt and Kingdom Hearts! ^-^**

**Secter: Er...good luck with that! **

**Fufu/Secter: Bye! Thanks for reading!**


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